We would like to make a few suggestions/recommendations. Make a birth plan for
the hospital. It is not written in stone. You can change it but, you may forget
your plans if you do not write them down. Ideas for a birth plan may include many
areas as listed below. :
pictures of your baby. Bring a separate SD card so they don't show up unexpectantly
in the future. Many people later regret not taking pictures. If your baby was
20 weeks or older there are professional photographers who do this for free. http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/
2. Spend time with your baby. You will
never get this time back.
keepsakes you can put in a baby book or memory box(little blankets, caps, hospital bracelets,
footprints and handprints, clay imprints of feet….
family members, especially siblings to the baby, say there good byes o when you are up to it.
5. Don’t be afraid to say what you want for the baby
6. Name your baby and call them by
7. Take your time making decisions
and discuss options with your husband before finalizing any decision.
8. Know that testing may be able to check for chromosomal abnormalities from
the placenta and umbilical so the baby would not be required for chromosomal testing.
9. You can and should set boundaries.
People may say “the wrong thing” forgive their ignorance and tell them your boundaries.
10. Know that grieving is hard work and it takes time so don’t try and
11. Journal your thoughts. By
journaling, you can release some stress, create memories and promote healing. Listening to music related to loss
may help during this process.
12. Let others help.
Accept meals, help around the house and babysitting. It is hard enough just to make it through each day.
Letting others help you gives them something they can do when they feel helpless to help you in this situation.
13. Find a support group
in your area. You can check with SHARE or Faces of Loss/ Faces of hope. Also you can check with
Loss Doulas International
14. Know that you will always
miss your baby but it will not hurt this bad forever. In time you will find your new normal and laugh
and have fun again.
that you are not alone. Pregnancy loss is not that unusual. One in four pregnancies is
lost in the first trimester. One in thirty-three babies die in the second trimester. One
in 130 babies die in the third trimester. There are people who understand how hard this
kind of loss is. Try and connect with one of them. You can ask for a pregnancy loss peer,
check with a support group, or ask for a Loss doula to be able to relate to in this time
16. If you are healthy and you are being
rushed into a decision to end your pregnancy, know there is not any true rush.
There is time to make a decision well into the third trimester. Take your time and
research. Whether your child goes to heaven sooner or later, you don't want to be second guessing yourself for
the rest of your life. Make a FULLY informed decision so you are not tortured for
the rest of your life. I recommend the book" A Gift of Time"
by Amy Kuebelbeck to be truly educated before making a decision. I have it on our
book page but, you can also order it from other on-line book sites. Please educate yourself as much as possible
before making any decisions.